The Impossibilities of Love

I used to say nothing is impossible. The word itself says, "I'm possible." But I've come to realize that some things really are impossible. One sided love is, in fact, impossible. Possibilities are endless, possibilities are where things get questioned, its where the "what ifs" emerge. But sometimes, the "what ifs" are just that. What if. Sometimes, those what ifs are just handfuls of false hopes and dreams. Its strange, how a possibility could in fact be something impossible. After all, there's a but to everything, a what if to what if. Well, right now, my life is an endless path of what ifs. And all of them are impossible. What if he comes back, what if we become something.... But we won't. Its impossible that he loves me. It's impossible that he'll suddenly love me back. I've been nurturing this impossible dream for years, growing him into something he's not, only to leave me more battered and bruised than I was in the first place. It's impossible for him to be who I want him to be. I can't change who he is, and yet I miss him, even though I know this person I've created in my mind does not exist. But I hold on to this hope because it's impossible to not hear his voice every day. His existence is plastered in my head like the posters of attention hung up on walls by the girl he's always with. Then I wonder, what if he really loves me and not her? What if he hasn't realized it yet because he's too busy being reckless? It's an endless cycle of what ifs with no answers. With no possibilities. Its an endless black hole with emptiness and darkness that has consumed me within it, and the light is so far in the distance that a ray of it can not be seen. The ray of light, its impossible. But the river of feeling, its drowning me. It's suffocating, the way love can sink you down so deep into a black hole. It swallows you like quick sand and no matter how hard you try to get back on your feet, those soft brown eyes and strong hands just pull you back down even deeper. I don't think it ever ends. Its one of those things that are just impossible.