Diet... Or Lifestyle?

In the past, I had a very unhealthy relationship with food and eating. I have struggled to stop eating while also periodically restricting myself severely. Of all the things I have struggled with, my relationship with food has been one of the most difficult. The loss of self control that one feels when struggling with an eating disorder is both mentally and physically damaging. It is a cycle that is very difficult to end. Many people, even some of my very close friends, don't know that I had serious problems with my eating. I kept it hidden very well, even my parents didn't exactly know, although I believe that had an idea. My therapist never knew and I didn't feel comfortable confiding in her about it, as well as various other topics.

Thankfully, I have learned how to manage my eating and not think about food and eating as a chore. My mind is no longer consumed by questions such as "what am I going to eat? When will I eat? Will I have to eat in front of people? What will people think if I eat/don't eat?" The eating disorders, combined with my debilitating anxiety, consumed me wholly. But in my junior year of high school, I discovered a "diet" that allowed me to eat well while losing a ton of weight (in a healthy way...or so I thought). It also allowed me to cook more often, which I love doing. Looking back on it now, as a sophomore in college, the "diet" wasn't particularly a "diet," it was more of a lifestyle that I was trying to stick to.

Sometimes it lasted longer than others. Going on vacations, visiting family, holidays and stressful times often led me to stray from the lifestyle that I wanted to implement, but I learned not to beat myself up over it. Although I didn't do EVERYTHING right (such as cutting out gluten-- although not intentional, I developed an intolerance rather quickly and I consequently had to teach my body to adapt to it again. Misconception: gluten free products are not necessarily better for you! More about this on my blog post: https://writtenbytb.wixsite.com/myviewoftheworld/post/healing-depression-my-personal-experience-tips-and-tricks).

But the most important things I learned were to A) maintain a balance and B) not beat myself up when I wasn't perfect. No food should be completely off-limits. But personally, I learned that for my body, my body was happiest and healthiest when I focused on proteins (lean proteins such as turkey, salmon, chicken rather than beef), ate less red meat, less refined foods and more whole foods especially fruits and vegetables! If I'm craving chocolate, I will not deprive myself, but I will limit myself to one serving size and eat only as much as I want. (little trick: one square of very dark chocolate, like 75% or higher, can satisfy you sooner and is healthier too!) I also decreased my caffeine intake (although I do drink tea, I can't live without tea, but opt for decaf herbal teas at night) and drank more water throughout the day.

Every body is different and it's important to try different things to see what works for you. I have gone back on my "diet" this week (which means just eating better, it doesn't mean restricting anything! I'm currently eating some dark chocolate peanut m&ms with my honey lavender tea... and that's okay!) and I already feel so much happier and healthier. Remember: your body is your temple. Taking care of it physically influences how you feel mentally, while taking care of yourself mentally impacts your physical well-being.